Kian (War Cats Book 5) Read online

Deciding to take a chance, he lifted his hand, skimming his fingers down her satiny cheek. Her lips parted on a breath that caught, and his eyes dropped to her plump lips, glistening in the light. Looking back into her eyes, he tried to read how she was feeling. He needed to know she felt the same way.

  That she was dying to kiss him as much as he was dying to kiss her.

  Her eyes were unfocused and dazed, glazed over with desire.

  That.

  That right there was what he needed to see. He leaned down slowly, giving her plenty of time to move away or stop him. Her eyes widened, but she didn’t move, her eyes dropping to his lips and then closing right before he touched his mouth to hers.

  Just that lightest touch had fireworks exploding behind his closed eyelids, and sent desire rushing through his body. His tiger purred again but this time he didn’t try to mask the sound or swallow it down. He let it out, wanting her to know it wasn’t just him she was affecting.

  He kept the kiss light for long moments, letting them both get used to the feel of their mouths pressed together and the sensations rushing through them. Reaching an arm out, he wrapped it around her waist and tugged her closer, and when she gasped and her lips parted, he did the same.

  Then it was all long, open mouth kisses for a bit before he couldn’t wait any longer to taste her fully. He ran his tongue gently along the seam of her lips, and she opened further, letting him in. And then he swept inside, trying to keep it slow and easy, but not able to succeed. He was feeling everything too strongly, and his body was literally tingling where it was touching hers.

  And they still had their clothes on. What kind of magic was this? He knew it was different between mates, but still, he hadn’t expected this. This was mind altering, life changing, epic in the best of ways.

  Her tongue tangled with his, and then he literally felt the change in her. She’d been holding her own with him verbally, but physically, she was still a little shy and timid. And she’d mostly been letting him kiss her without much participation, even though he knew she was enjoying herself. But it was like when their tongues touched, it flipped a switch inside her, and she was suddenly the aggressor, taking over the kiss in a way that made his knees weak.

  And admitting that didn’t make him feel like less of a man, like less of a warrior. It made him feel like more of one. Because with Jessica, it took a hell of a man, a hell of a kiss, to pull this kind of reaction from her. Maybe that was arrogant, but it was the honest truth.

  Then she wrapped her arms around his neck and moved in closer, pressing her body into his, and he lost all train of thought. Fuck, that was amazing. He tangled one hand around her braid and the one on her hip tightened, though he tried to temper his strength. He didn’t want to inadvertently hurt her.

  She made a deep noise in the back of her throat, and her tiger began purring, matching his. She pulled away slightly and nipped his bottom lip and then kissed him again, her tongue tasting every bit of his mouth.

  Fuuuuck. What was happening? He was the dominant one. The Alpha. The confident man to her timid woman. But fuck if she wasn’t completely flipping the table on their very first kiss—proving that in this at least, she was running the show.

  They ate at each other’s mouths, both of them straining toward each other, trying their best to get closer. He knew he should slow them down, maybe even stop. This was too much, too soon. She was into it now, but how would she feel when it was over?

  Yet despite that, he was just about to reach for the sash of her robe and tug it open when his phone suddenly went off, his ringtone blaringly loud in the quiet of the room. Jessica jumped, pulling away from him so quickly, he had to reach out and steady her when she stumbled.

  His tiger growled in displeasure as Kian fought to find his wits again. They’d completely fled. And he figured as long as he was looking at her, they’d stay gone. Her brown eyes were wide and hazy, her lips glistening and parted as she panted for breath. Her cheeks were flushed, and her chest was heaving with the force of her breath.

  And he found himself mentally begging her robe to fall open. Jessica was short but curvy, and he’d always admired her form, even before he knew they were mates. Maybe it was because there was always an insane amount of attraction between mates, but he didn’t think so. He would have thought she was gorgeous regardless.

  His phone rang again, clearing the haze from his mind a little more, and he glanced down to see Zane calling. He wished he could ignore it, but with things the way they were, he wasn’t sure it would be wise. Looking back up, he locked gazes with Jess, smiling at how flustered she seemed.

  “You okay?”

  “What?” she asked before shaking her head, licking her lips again and almost making him groan as the desire he was trying to cool flared anew. “I’m fine. I think. No, I am. Or at least, I will be.”

  He cocked his head at her confused words, another smile threatening to break through. She was so adorable. “Okay. I should probably go take this call and find out what Zane wants. I’ll talk to you soon, all right?”

  She cleared her throat, and it was clear she was trying to look casual, although she didn’t quite manage it. “Yeah, sure, that’s fine.”

  A corner of his lip quirked up and he reached out, trailing his fingers down her cheek one last time before spinning around and walking out. He still felt off kilter, dazed, his wits not completely restored yet. His tiger was even worse, nearly comatose inside him from the pleasure of Kian kissing their mate for the first time.

  And it wasn’t until he was back in his study that he remembered the plan tonight had been to finally tell her he knew they were mates.

  Chapter Seven

  The next night, Jessica sat in her room, staring into space as she waited for her dinner to arrive. She hated putting the kitchen staff out in any way and doing it two days in a row was grating. But she’d somehow managed to avoid Kian all day, and she wanted to keep it that way.

  She’d gone in to breakfast and lunch a little bit later than usual, but from what the staff said, Kian hadn’t been in to eat yet at all. She couldn’t deny being a little worried about that, but she knew the cook, a caring woman by the name of Pari, would make sure he ate if she had to physically hunt him down herself.

  But even though Jessica worried a bit, she was relieved, too. She didn’t know how to act or what to say after that scorching kiss the night before. It had been the single most amazing experience of her life, and she’d felt things she never expected to.

  She knew she’d have been shy regardless after something like that, but the problem was how she responded to it. She’d turned wanton. Ravenous. She’d tried to devour him. In short, she hadn’t behaved like the Jessica she knew. That was weird enough, but the sense that she wasn’t her old self because she was the new self she was turning into was even more unsettling.

  As if to remind her that everything was changing, the tattoo began itching like crazy again. She’d been so worried that while he was rubbing lotion onto it, the tail would flick like she could feel it doing. She’d almost said no for that reason alone, but it hadn’t been like she could explain why she was refusing.

  No, Kian, don’t help me, because I’m scared the tattoo will move while you’re looking?

  Yeah, that wouldn’t be crazy at all. Everything was so confusing and getting more so with every passing moment. Because as bad as the tat itched and burned, the moment Kian touched it, all those sensations stopped. She’d been sure it was because he was touching her. A suspicion that was proven when he stepped away and it began itching again—yet when he kissed her and pulled her in close to his body, it stopped again.

  What the heck did that mean? She had no idea, and no way to find out. Even if she could tell someone and not sound as crazy as she was turning, she’d never find anyone who’d had the same experience. There was no way. So there was no way to find answers.

  Exhaling, she stood and began pacing her living room. Maybe it was stupid in the extreme, for her
self anyway, but she was beginning to wonder if she should take her chances and leave now. It was clear Drako, whoever he—or they—were, wasn’t going to stop. But she was beginning to worry that she’d somehow hurt the people she loved if she stayed, and she couldn’t bear that.

  And yeah, that included Kian. She’d loved him in a child-like way when they were younger, playing together as kids, then as teenagers it blossomed into a crush on the handsome War Cat prince. But once her tiger told her they were mates, she did everything in her power to grind those old feelings to dust. She knew she wasn’t right for him, and he deserved more.

  But they continued to quietly grow when he came back home, and now, after only spending a couple of days in direct contact with him again, she knew—she already loved him. Desperately. The way a woman loved a man. The way a shifter loved her mate.

  And that meant she’d do anything for him. Shifters could love as many as they wanted, but they only had one true mate. Their animals knew instinctively who their best match was, and they told their human counterparts when they found them. From that moment, whether the shifter really wanted it or not, they were devoted to their mate.

  Oh, she was sure they didn’t have to be. She knew of a few who’d successfully resisted, although it was rare. Because their instincts were strong, and often hard to ignore. But just because their animal loved them, it didn’t mean they had to, as well. Of course, it made it easier. But it wasn’t a given.

  But once the human loved them, they were goners. And they’d do anything for their mate. Lie, steal, cheat, kill. Whatever it took to make their mate happy and safe. To keep them protected.

  Including laying down their own life.

  Maybe that was Jessica’s destiny. Because she couldn’t stay here and put him, as well as the rest of the tribe, at risk. Yet if she left, she was as good as dead. Her submissiveness meant she couldn’t fight back, no matter how much she wanted to. Her confrontation with Vihaan had been an aberration, and she couldn’t expect that to happen again.

  A flash from her memory the other day hit her and she paused in her pacing, stunned. How had she not thought that part through? Her parents said they were hiding her so the Drako couldn’t find her. Her.

  It wasn’t the tribe or Kian that Drako was coming after. It was her. Yeah, he’d made attempts on Kian’s life, but maybe that was a strategic move. Take out the alpha, throw the tribe into turmoil, and it would be a million times easier to get to her.

  Stunned, she stood frozen as the realizations crashed down on her. Yes, she had to leave. Even if she had no tattoo that moved, even if she wasn’t changing and going crazy, she had to go. She’d probably die, but Kian would be okay. And wasn’t that what being a mate was all about? Doing absolutely anything and everything to keep their mate safe. Protected. It might not make him happy, especially if he knew they were mates already, but he’d have no chance at happiness at all if he was dead.

  At least if he was alive, there’d be a chance he could be happy again one day. And he probably didn’t know they were mates, anyway. He might wonder why he never found a true mate, but not all shifters found theirs. And he could still find happiness and a normal kind of love with a woman who was worthy.

  A sudden, unexpected fury burned through her veins at the thought of Kian with some faceless woman. And even though it wasn’t real, she still wanted to stab out the fictional woman’s eyeballs.

  Holy. Cow. Where the hell had that thought come from? That was so unlike her, but heck, it was the way she felt. Thinking of Kian with another woman made her feel violent. She needed to get used to it, though. If—when—she left here, it would eventually happen.

  Shoot. She needed to end this line of thinking right now, because it was doing nothing to help her want to leave. What she needed to be doing was shoring up her reserve to get out of Durga Valley as soon as possible.

  A knock sounded at the door, followed by a voice she recognized as Isla’s. Finally, the food was there. Her appetite was gone, but she’d force herself to eat, maybe turn on the TV while she was at it, and it would be a welcome distraction. She desperately needed something to get her mind off Kian for a bit.

  Walking to the door, she opened it with a smile that froze when she found Kian standing next to Isla. They were both holding trays, and Isla handed Jessica the one she was holding, then bowed her head and walked away. Jessica couldn’t pull her gaze away from Kian long enough to find her voice to say thank you, though.

  There was the very man she’d wanted to find a distraction from, standing in her doorway, watching her with a warm, partially uncertain smile, looking yummier than any man had a right to. Her eyes dipped to his full lips, framed by his sexy as heck goatee, and it reminded her of their kiss last night and the way it had rasped deliciously against her face.

  “What—” Stopping to clear her throat when it came out mangled and barely discernable, she took a deep breath before continuing. “What are you doing here?”

  He nodded to her tray and then to the one he was holding. “I’ve been busy and haven’t seen you all day. I was looking forward to dinner with you, but Pari said you asked for a tray. I asked for one as well. I thought I could join you and we could eat together.”

  Well, fudgesicles. It was times like this that she really wished she could curse like other people. But he had a hopeful look in his dark brown eyes, and such a beautiful smile on his face, and how could she say no? And really, there was no valid excuse she could give to refuse. Shifters didn’t get sick, so it wasn’t like she could even use that.

  Standing back, she forced a smile she hoped looked carefree and gestured him inside. After he walked in, she nudged the door shut with her hip and followed him to the small table that only fit two. It’d always been fine for her, but right then, it looked way too intimate. All she needed was to light some candles and dim the lights, and it would turn into a romantic dinner for two.

  Great. This was just perfect for putting her plan of avoiding him and then fleeing into place.

  They both set their trays on the counter, taking their plates and glasses and moving them to the table. There wouldn’t be enough room for both trays. She inhaled deeply, looking at the dish. Spaghetti and meatballs. For some reason, it struck a chord in her and she giggled. The irony was all too much.

  Just yesterday, she had a memory that included her parent’s names, and a name that was apparently her real one. And they also said despite her light caramel skin and dark hair and eyes, she wasn’t Indian. She’d put it all together today and worked out that she must be Italian. Her looks, and the names—Sofia, Anthony, Alessa.

  And there she was, sitting across the table from the pure-blooded Indian Alpha of the War Cats, a tribe where Indian heritage was prized and others were mocked, and she was a noble here—yet she was Italian. And the cook served them spaghetti and meatballs. A classic Italian dish.

  She suddenly started laughing so hard, it didn’t take long for tears to run down her face. Her life belonged in a tragic comedy movie. It couldn’t be real. Half tragedy, half comedy, all wrong.

  When she finally stopped laughing, she looked at Kian to find him staring at her with one of those smiles you give someone when you’re amused by their laughter, but you don’t understand why they’re laughing. The look set off a fresh round of giggles and she wiped the tears from her cheeks as she breathed deeply, trying to calm down.

  His look had turned bemused by the time he spoke. “Are you okay now?”

  Nodding, she blew a breath out before she answered. “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry about that.”

  “What was so funny?”

  “Spaghetti and meatballs,” she replied, her lips quivering again. She’d really needed a laugh, but maybe this was taking it too far. It was beyond time to calm down.

  “I don’t get it. Why would that be funny?” he asked, his face puzzled as he gazed at her.

  And that was it. The reminder of why she was laughing, and all she’d told him, crashed down on he
r, and she sobered instantly.

  “It’s not important.”

  He frowned, watching as she picked up her fork. She pushed the meatballs around as he watched, willing herself to take a bite. But she’d completely lost her appetite.

  “You’re not hungry?”

  Keeping her gaze on her plate, she shook her head. “I seem to have lost my appetite.”

  “Jess, what’s going on?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Even if shifters couldn’t hear lies, I’d know that was a falsehood.” He paused, but when she said nothing, he exhaled and then pushed his chair back, the legs grating against the floor as he stood. “Okay, if you’re not hungry and you’re not gonna talk, then it’s my turn to speak. Can you come here?”

  Puzzled, she glanced up at him. He was standing there with his hand held out to her, and as much as she didn’t think it was a good idea to touch him again, she didn’t have a reason to refuse. She pushed her chair back more gently than he had and placed her hand in his, trying to suppress the shiver his touch conjured up.

  Once she was up, he didn’t let go of her hand. He took her other in his, holding tightly, and she glanced down, eyes getting stuck. He really did have some mouthwatering hands and forearms. She knew Kelly would approve, since she had a thing for hands. Jess had never understood her fascination, but looking at Kian’s, she got it. Whew.

  He squeezed her hands, and she glanced up with a question in her eyes, immediately stilling when she saw the intensity in his dark gaze. Whatever he wanted to say was important, and she suddenly wasn’t sure she wanted to know what it was. But it didn’t look like she had a choice at this point.

  “Jess… I don’t even know where to start, so I’m just gonna say it. You’re my mate. I’ve known for a while now, but I was waiting until Durga was safe before I told you and claimed you. I’ve been a target since I came home, and I didn’t want to taint you with that. But at this point, it’s looking like it doesn’t matter. And I’m tired of waiting. Every day, every minute, every second that I don’t let you know, that I don’t claim you—it’s killing me. I’m dying a slow death inside over this. And I can protect you. It might not seem like it right now, but I can.